Dichotomy

Movies often make me question myself more than any other form of media. As I was watching a movie with the Shelton sisters tonight about "living the life", I couldn't help but wonder, "How many of my actions are made or censored because of the competing desire within myself to please others and myself?" I believe that many of our actions are made without our own conscious support, and without conscious knowledge that we do not even know we are not in control of our decisions. This isn't some predestination bullshit, but many times I feel the desire to conform, make the "right" decision, simply because of environmental and peer influences. How can you live your life the happiest without being an arrogant son of a bitch that has no regard for his or her surroundings? I suppose it comes down to what makes you happiest, seeing others happy or feeling the most happy. I cannot wait for the freedom to decide what to do with the majority of my life in college, decide who and what makes me the happiest, and fuck everything else.  :)