I find myself longing to be the best of what everyone else is. Is that even a valid excuse for why I cannot "perform" to my level of social confidence that I strive for every day? I don't think so.
Nostalgia really is a bitch these days. I linger in the past, when the future is the only thing I have going for me, so why keep my mind in the past when I have better days, better thoughts, and better relationships to form in the future? I see a trait that someone else has, and I want it for my own. Or compare it to my own mediocre self who only wishes to be whatever it is not. Hrmph. Who am I to try to be who I am not? And who am I to think that it's okay for me to allow myself to do this? Portrayal through others leads only to sad and unfortunate lives. Trust me.
So... Running through my head.
Three weeks of governor's school already gone! Cannot believe it. It went by so fast that I honestly can't believe it. It is currently Sunday morning and I don't go back until Tuesday afternoon... way too long from now. Governor's School is the perfect atmosphere to harbor all of the thoughts that I've been contemplating but haven't quite been able to piece together quite yet. I believe that I may be becoming an atheist, but I would rather not share this belief until later into the future so that people do not think that GS has turned me into a "god-bashing" atheist, because that is definitely not how it goes at the ol' Salem.
I think I'm beginning to appreciate classical music more because of GS. I'm actually listening to a Pandora channel that plays classical symphonic music. And I like it.
I know the intro was a little unrelatable, but that was just what was on my mind at that moment, so I wrote it down, no matter how unsatisfactory of myself it sounds.
I need to work out more. I'm getting lazy and XC season is coming soon and I don't want to get caught unprepared for the season... That means I'm running tomorrow! Blehhhh... Whatever.
So.... First blog ever. Kinda sparse. I'll get better at this. I'M OUT.
-Joe
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